In this personal essay, Allie Zenwirth falls in love within the confines of an all-male Chasidic school.
Allie Zenwirth | Longreads | October 2018 | 13 minutes (3,360 words)
During the short break between prayers on Rosh Hashanah, a month after Shia transferred to my school, his father passed me on his way out to the bathroom. I was leaning my butt on a folded chair. He said: “You and Shia are study partners, right?”
I said yes.
He said something positive. It might have been “Shia likes it,” or simply that we were doing a good job. I went red in the face and looked away. He left.
For a few weeks after that I kept thinking “What an honor it must be that his father spoke to me.” Now it makes me cringe. It wasn’t a natural thought. It felt like someone had told me this was the proper response. So, I made myself think that.
Whenever I think of him my heart feels like it’s slowly being heaved up and down.