I used to be in a friend group chat called “Tinder Spinsters,” a group of girls offering support as we navigated the tumultuous dating world. Faith Hill’s chat is named “Lonely Hearts Club,” but are these groups becoming a thing of the past? Are people even still trying? In a 2025 YouGov poll, 69 percent of single respondents said they “rarely” or “never” go on dates. Nowadays, it’s complicated. On the positive side, a relationship is no longer seen as essential for a happy life—women’s interest in men, in particular, has dimmed as their financial independence has grown. But many people would still love to find a partner; they are just finding that modern romance requires a toll “paid in energy, in sanity, in cash, in hours—and not everyone can afford it.”

The hug was the last round, though, and then real life resumed. We mingled, but the intimacy had disappeared. One man told me that he had high emotional intelligence and could tell that I did too—then he suggested that we travel together someday, handed me his business card, and walked away. I gave a few people my phone number, including one man who sent me a picture of his face the very next morning and another who texted me so much (even after a polite rebuff) that I had to block him. One date with another guy resulted, but I wasn’t interested in a second. The perception of abundance had, once again, evaporated into nothing.

More picks on dating

Getting the Spark Back

Magdalene Taylor / Slate / October 12, 2024 / 2,688 words

“Dating apps destroyed in-person romance. Now they’re trying to revive it.”

Hush-Hush Affair

Reeves Weideman | New York | July 1, 2024 | 7,901 words

“How the NDA became the defining legal document of our time.”

Did I Tell You About David?

Desiree Browne | Midnight & Indigo | January 5, 2023 | 3,976 words

“I didn’t know what he was looking for, but what he saw kept him focused on me in a way I wasn’t sure could or should exist.”

Darkness on the Edge of Cougartown

Sarah Miller | The Cut | October 1, 2019 | 2,235 words

On the brink of 50, Sarah Miller makes peace with being 10 years older than her boyfriend, and stops wasting time wishing she were younger.