Devon O’Neil bravely attends Kitzbühel’s legendary Hahnenkamm downhill ski race in this riotous piece. In Kitzbühel, parties are as important as skiing—particularly during Hahnenkamm—and O’Neil fully embraces the lifestyle, staying in the hub of the fun at the SnowBunnies Hostel for six nights.

It’s only six nights, I reassured myself as I booked the hostel.

A few minutes after arriving at the hostel, a heavyset man named Dave with long, stringy black hair and a graying beard opened the door. I followed him upstairs to a small, stuffy quarters on the third floor. He coughed and sneezed without covering his mouth. “Everyone in the village is sick,” he explained.

Dave, a Kiwi in his fifties, showed me the bathrooms: a cramped toilet stall outside our room and a fourth-floor shower with a sign that read, “Only 2 Euros to watch!” A rabbit named Rocky hopped down the hallway.

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