Natalie Lima recounts relapsing during the pandemic, halting two years of sobriety with cheap vodka in “less than the length of a song.” At Catapult, she shares the winding path of her recovery and what she missed most during her seven-month relapse.
What I missed most, during this relapse, was my writing practice—a pursuit that has become an integral part of my life, my identity, my joy. And, unlike Cheever and Hemingway, I do not write when I’m drunk. My magnum opus will never be written on a napkin at a dive bar, after I’ve lost the love of my life and have drank all my money away.
I’ve learned that I can only write when my life is peaceful—when my bills are paid, when I’m not aching over a romance, when my life is quiet. Frankly, I can only write when my life is a bit boring. I now yearn for boring. It’s the quiet of living sober that stirs my creativity and fills up my life again.
