How would you like to retire? At The Bird’s Nest, a sort of tiny-house commune in Texas, a group of women hope to live independently for as long as possible while surrounded by friends and like-minded neighbors. “I traveled to The Bird’s Nest in mid-July because I had been searching for real-life examples of a fantasy I have had since my 20s,” writes Lisa Miller. “After child-rearing and a career, my friends and I would buy a big house somewhere affordable and cohabitate the way we had done in college: cooking and laughing and hanging out, chipping in for accessibility ramps and health-help as needed.” I’ve entertained a version of this fantasy myself. Miller notes, however, that retiring with one’s friends is “almost impossible.” Yet the women at The Bird’s Nest show that with vision, and the right companions, it’s possible to design a life that reflects your needs and values.
Two lesbians, married, live at The Bird’s Nest (one identifies as a “tree hugger”), as does one Republican gun owner; one Bible-believing Christian conservative; and several women who call themselves “military brats.” They have been through a lot, but not any more or less than other women: cancer, infertility, addiction, mental health issues, domestic abuse. A few have grown children living nearby and enjoy hosting grandchild sleepovers, annual trips to Ireland, fishing vacations in Michigan. Other adult children live at an emotional distance, painful reminders of parenting regrets. The late-night sessions in the kitchen often resemble free group therapy, observed Trish Earixson, one half of the married couple.
“My goal is really to keep people out of nursing homes,” she told me. A 2019 study supports her hunch: Women with more social ties have a 10 percent longer life span and 41 percent higher odds of surviving to age 85 than women with fewer ties, regardless of their demographic characteristics or health conditions.
More picks on communes, communities, and ways of living
Why Gen Z Will Never Leave Home
“Thanks to soaring housing costs, a generation of twentysomethings are still in their childhood bedrooms. A portrait of family life with no empty nest.”
Can a Big Village Full of Tiny Homes Ease Homelessness in Austin?
“One of the nation’s largest experiments in affordable housing to address chronic homelessness is taking shape outside the city limits.”
The Last Glimpses of California’s Vanishing Hippie Utopias
“Half a century ago, a legion of idealists dropped out of society and went back to the land, creating a patchwork of utopian communes across Northern California. Here, the last of those rogue souls offer a glimpse of their otherworldly residences—and the tail end of a grand social experiment.”
