Peggy Carouthers explores how Gilmore Girls helped her understand her relationship with her stepfather, Russ. Not all father figures are biological—which the show acknowledged again and again, giving Carouthers a language for what her own relationship meant, and a way to honor the grief of its loss.

Growing up, none of the depictions of stepparents I saw matched my experience with my stepfather. Most shows and movies with stepparents portrayed them as villains, like Cinderella or The Parent Trap. A few movies showed a loving stepparent, such as The Santa Clause, but the stepparent is treated as competition for the absent biological parent. My biological father wasn’t a hero, and my stepfather wasn’t replacing him; Russ was my father. And though there were a couple movies with stepfathers and stepsons who came together, like Man of the House, or stepmothers and stepdaughters, like Stepmom, I never saw any media with positive stepfather-stepdaughter relationships. 

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