I Tried to Toughen Up My Son. Things Didn’t Go as Planned.

Who would win in a fight: Theodore Roosevelt, or Pee-wee Herman? Those are the two models of masculinity competing within 8-year-old Saul, a National Parks enthusiast who carries his own first-aid supplies in the pockets of his Junior Ranger vest. Sam Graham-Felsen sets off for the Badlands with his son to teach him resilience, but ends up navigating the gullies that separate the violence we anticipate from the real deal, and less certain about how to prepare a child for either.

As our trip went on, I noticed that Saul was starting to imitate Pee-Wee’s mannerisms. He was also starting to sour a little on Teddy Roosevelt. Each night before bed, I’d been reading him a kid-friendly Roosevelt biography and there were things in it that didn’t sit so well with him. For one, Roosevelt’s penchant for violence. “I like the conservationist part of his story much more than the Rough Riders part,” Saul said, referring to the ragtag group of non-enlisted soldiers Roosevelt rounded up to fight in the Spanish-American War. “Why does anyone like the Rough Riders? They were basically just a weird gang.”

There was something else that bothered Saul even more. It was the fact that when Roosevelt finally came back from the Dakota Territory and reunited with his daughter, Alice (and it’s worth noting that despite his travels, Roosevelt was a devoted, loving father), he withheld something crucial from her. Not once did he ever tell Alice about her mother, for whom she was named. In fact, there’s no evidence that he ever spoke of his deceased wife to anyone. He even left her out of his autobiography.

This outraged Saul.

“You can’t do that!” he said. “That was her mother. You can’t just pretend someone’s mother didn’t exist!”