Even as a cycling fan, I readily admit that watching the Tour de France can be boring. Then again, with three weeks of daily six-hour rides that hinge on conserving energy for 90% of the time, it’s mathematically impossible not to be boring. Enter Charles Petersen, whose love for the sport comes with twin scoops of self-deprecation and cynicism. Whether or not you watch a single moment of this year’s Tours—note the long-overdue plural, now that the women’s sport finally has an official Tour of its own—you should at the very least let Petersen sell you on their herculean demands, undeniable grandeur, and soap-opera-worthy microdramas.
To picture what happens when the Tour hits the Alps, imagine if a penalty shot in soccer took place with a thousand screaming fans lining the box, and you’re close. Imagine if the winning touchdown run in American football took the running back down a gauntlet of fans—you’re closer. Now imagine this isn’t happening in some puny stadium but in the arena of the gods: the Col de Granon, the Col de Galibier, Mont Ventoux, Alpe d’Huez. Guys are lighting flares for no good reason, other than that it looks awesome. (It’s banned, who cares.) There’s confetti in the air. You’re about to go down the other side at 100 kilometers per hour and your heart is pushing 200 beats per minute. You’re three weeks into the race, there’s two more mountains to go, and tomorrow you’ll get up tomorrow and do exactly the same thing. The mountain stages in the Tour are, quite simply, completely insane. They are by far the greatest test of athletic capacity in any sport. A marathon is a mere couple of hours on one day, with at most a few hills. The Tour is around five hours per day for three weeks over 3,300 kilometers and 50,000 meters of climbing. There’s a reason cycling is the only major sport covered by helicopter: it’s aura farming for miles.
More picks about cycling
Revolutions
“Joël Kyaviro has overcome violence, poverty, and the Ebola crisis to become the best cyclist to emerge from the Democratic Republic of the Congo. How far can he go?”
The Yarddogs of Northwest Arkansas
“What is never discussed in all of this hand-wringing is the fact that those dogs and their owners likely far predate the people riding their bikes here.”
The Alchemists
“They led a cycling revolution in Afghanistan where women were forbidden to ride. When the Taliban returned to power, their only hope was a harrowing escape to an uncertain future.”
Into the Wind
“There is a fine line between losing yourself and finding your deepest truths.”
The West Coast’s Fanciest Stolen Bikes Are Getting Trafficked by One Mastermind in Jalisco, Mexico
“A digital sleuth named Bryan Hance has spent the past four years obsessively uncovering a bicycle-theft pipeline of astonishing scale.”
Molly’s Last Ride
“Twelve-year-old Molly Steinsapir crashed onto the pavement from a Rad Power e-bike and never woke up. With a poorly regulated e-bike industry, who is responsible when a child dies?”
