Lydia C. Buchanan dreams of owning her own home. But, as a struggling writer, it may be out of her reach forever. Buchanan reflects on how this desire crept up and consumed her, the opposite of the freedom she desired when she was younger. She also gives us some exquisite descriptions of the sort of house she wishes she could own, and wonderful disparagements of those she does not: “I hate new houses. I shrivel inside of them. The floors are too quiet, the walls too flat. The vacuum can fit in every corner. I can’t breathe. They’re not dead; they were never alive.” A powerful take on what it means to not ever be able to call a place your own.
Last summer, when I looked up from the rolling sidewalk babies, saw the mirage, and realized I wanted it, I was appalled. Here was something else I wanted and would never have. I would have to live with more longing, specific longing. I’ll never own that house, maybe a house at all.
If I can critique my desires, see all the flaws and pitfalls and cultural mirages they are built upon, can I release myself from them?
If I can admit my dreams are unoriginal—an old house, a plot of land with my name and clothesline on it, neighbors I can wave to—can I absolve myself from the shame of conventionality?
More pick on homes
Two Years After a Wildfire Took Everything, Maui Homeowners Are Facing a New Threat: Foreclosure
“A Native Hawaiian mother’s fight to keep her family in Lāhainā despite soaring costs, mortgage limbo, and land-hungry investors eager to own a piece of Hawaiʻi.”
An Ambulance, An Empty Lot and a Loophole: One Man’s Fight for a Place to Live
“He sees himself as many Angelenos do: in the gray area between homeless and homeowner.”
Bad Manors
“The McMansion as harbinger of the American apocalypse.”
Silicon Valley and the Rent-to-Own Trap
“If you want to become a homeowner but don’t qualify for a mortgage, Divvy Homes has a solution: Rent a house from them until you’re able to buy it. What could possibly go wrong?”
Whose Facade Is It, Anyway?
These days, whether you like it or not, your photogenic home may be a backdrop for tourists’ photoshoots. But posing in front of pretty facades, a practice perfected by travel influencers on Instagram, brings up issues of privacy and etiquette.
We Have Always Lived in the House
In this personal essay, in the face of tragic loss, Victoria Comella searches for the home she left behind, only to find it seventeen years later in the last place she expected.
