“I do not wish to have not been a parent. But I think it is normal to imagine new existences when the world is crumbling.”
I didn’t understand how completely the change in myself would be once I became a parent. The cocoon phase could have been thought of as pregnancy, but that wasn’t accurate for me. To be a pregnant person is to be a host to a strange and separate thing and to live with a thousand small inconveniences. Largely, though my behavior changed in a million ways from sleeping to food, I wasn’t changed. Parenting remade me. I wouldn’t say my children dissolved me into a liquid form of myself, but I wouldn’t not say that.
