“Running is a great way to stay celibate. Plus, it helps you clear your mind after being called names by Grandma during her demented fits. Your prayer life gets better when you run marathons. It’s important to keep your mind sharp and your body strong. You have to lift a fully grown adult into a bath tub. You have to think for two people, you and her.”
Get the Longreads Weekly Email
Success! You're on the list.
Whoops! There was an error and we couldn't process your subscription. Please reload the page and try again.