I Was Not a Pretty Child

Remembering what it was like to be ignored or mocked—and now, sometimes, being guilty of the same behavior:

“Female friendships are more complicated. There are nuances and there’s competition and there are magazines and men in bars who talk to your friend and not to you. You cannot take everything at face value. Hyper-analysis is the norm. I’m okay at making female friends. I love other women; they share their shoes. When you have conversations with women about sex, they almost never assume that you want to sleep with them. They drink wine and smell better than boys. I am not intelligent enough to put into words the intricacies of female friendships; there’s a physical intimacy, an immediate want toward sisterhood and trust. That’s how you can tell your friends from your acquaintances. With that openness and trust comes vulnerability, and with vulnerability comes conflict.”