He asked me whether I would be his daughter’s godfather and I said no, foreseeing how that would be used to wheedle more money out of me. Joe, you can’t let your goddaughter suffer. I know he was hurt by that.

The disturbing part was that his family did suffer, going hungry, skipping months of school because there was no tuition, going without medicine. Most Haitians were even worse off.

Anyone who got close to people there came to this point: Should I forgo this and send money to my friend in Haiti? This cup of coffee, this new computer, this family vacation? In the scheme of human suffering, morally, I should.

But I didn’t. I helped when I could, which really meant when it wouldn’t diminish my family’s lifestyle.

By Joe Mozingo, Los Angeles Times