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A Closed Letter to Myself About Thievery, Heckling and Rape Jokes

The comedian reflects on how we rationalize the decisions we make in our life—from stealing other people's material to defending rape jokes:

"Well, I stole a joke. Not consciously. I heard something I found hilarious, mis-remembered it as an inspiration of my own, and then said it onstage. And got big laughs.

"Here it is: 'Whenever I’m sitting on a bus, and someone asks me if the seat next to me is free, I have an answer that guarantees no one will want that seat. I look up and smile and say, "No one but…The Lord."'

"Huge laugh on that one. Pow! Bigger than anything else in my set at the time, that’s for sure.

"I came off stage and Blaine Capatch, a comedian friend of mine who’s a never-miss machine gun in terms of quantity and quality when it comes to jokes, took me aside and said, 'That’s a Carol Leifer joke, man.'"
PUBLISHED: June 14, 2013
LENGTH: 25 minutes (6256 words)