The Night the Lights Went Out

“I can also tell you that it can be unpleasant to be the freakshow guy whose brain spontaneously detonated. You don’t want doctors looking at your CAT scans incredulously and being like, ‘Hoo boy! You really did a number on your noggin there!'”

Source: Deadspin
Published: May 16, 2019
Length: 28 minutes (7,130 words)

The Last Curious Man

At GQ, family, friends, and co-workers share their memories of chef and television host Anthony Bourdain, who died in June, 2018.

Source: GQ
Published: Dec 4, 2018
Length: 27 minutes (6,772 words)

Is The Scripps National Spelling Bee Evil?

Back in 2013, for Deadspin, Drew Magary attended the annual Scripps Spelling Bee, in which 11 million kids spell off across America in a bid to become the brainy few who land onstage for the final round, and learns how such a simple contest has been sullied by the need to keep the event exciting for ESPN’s television audience.

Source: Deadspin
Published: May 31, 2013
Length: 14 minutes (3,723 words)

Sarah Silverman Is the Troll Slayer

Sarah Silverman is “on a campaign to neutralize her haters with a weapon more powerful than a million burns: empathy.”

Source: GQ
Published: May 23, 2018
Length: 15 minutes (3,863 words)

What Kind of Person Would Vote For Donald Trump? These People.

Drew Magary goes inside Donald Trump’s surging GOP campaign to try and figure out just who exactly who would vote for the guy.

Source: GQ
Published: Aug 3, 2015
Length: 17 minutes (4,300 words)

Thïs ïs thë Ënd

A glimpse inside the (supposed) final tour of Mötley Crüe.

Source: GQ
Published: Jan 23, 2015
Length: 19 minutes (4,996 words)

Now Free for Father’s Day: The Complete First Chapter of Drew Magary’s ‘Someone Could Get Hurt’

For Father’s Day, we’ve unlocked our recent Longreads Member Pick, chapter one from Drew Magary‘s new memoir on fatherhood, Someone Could Get Hurt (Gotham Books).

Source: Gotham Books
Published: Jun 12, 2013
Length: 9 minutes (2,332 words)

Longreads Member Exclusive: Someone Could Get Hurt (Chapter 1), by Drew Magary

For this week’s Member Pick, we’re thrilled to share the first chapter of Drew Magary’s new memoir on fatherhood, Someone Could Get Hurt  (Gotham Books). Magary, who writes for  Deadspin and  GQ, has been  featured on Longreads many times in the past, and he explained how his latest book came together.

Source: Gotham Books
Published: May 16, 2013
Length: 9 minutes (2,332 words)

Searching For Anything But Bobby Fischer At School Scrabble Nationals

The writer visits the 2013 National School Scrabble Championship, a competition between children in the fourth through eighth grade:

“The two boys have a laugh at my complaints. Frankly, I’m in a no-win situation. If I lose, I’m a loser. If I win, I’m the heartless bastard who beat two middle schoolers. Sam’s mother agrees with my assessment.

“‘Oh, you have to lose,’ she says, laughing.

“‘I know, I know.’

“But then we draw tiles and I find that I have a bingo right at the start: FlOWERS. I put it down and suddenly I have an 82-0 lead. Then I draw the Q and the Z simultaneously and put down QUIZ to take a 124-24 lead. I’m crushing it. I’m killing it. I am killcrushslaying these kids. I have no interest in decorum anymore. The game has me. I want to win because I want to win.

Source: Deadspin
Published: May 13, 2013
Length: 17 minutes (4,258 words)

The Lion Smokes Tonight

The writer lights up with Snoop Dogg, now known as Snoop Lion:

“I must pause here for a moment to point out that we are about to cross the threshold into Snoop’s Narnia. And in Snoop’s Narnia, ideas and concepts that many of us might find dubious, or unscrupulous, feel natural, even kind of innocent. By now, Snoop has joined the ranks of Keith Richards and Jack Nicholson—artists whom we have exempted from the standard rules of society because they’re so widely beloved. So in Snoop’s Narnia, it’s perfectly normal to smoke weed everywhere, all the time, at any hour of the day. In Snoop’s Narnia, it’s perfectly acceptable to look forward to teaching your kids how to pick seeds out of your stash or how to roll a blunt. ‘It’s not that I would ever push weed on our kids,’ says Snoop, who has three children, ranging in age from 12 to 18, ‘but if they wanted to, I would love to show them how, the right way, so that way they won’t get nothing put in their shit or overdose or trying some shit that ain’t clean.'”

Source: GQ
Published: Jan 8, 2013
Length: 14 minutes (3,537 words)